Bloom Where You're Planted (Tips for Surviving an International Move)

I must preface this post by saying I am by no means an expert on this. I've only moved internationally once, but to be quite honest I feel like all the tips I'm going to mention here can be applied to ANY move, not just an international one. In fact, I struggled more initially with adjusting to our move from Houston to Fort Worth (two different cities in Texas) than I did with our move to Buenos Aires, so don't think that an in-state move isn't a HUGE change. It IS! Any time you are required to uproot your life and start a new one, there are going to be challenges; however, if you hang tight, things will get better and you'll gain new insights, experiences, perspectives and relationships, and all the trouble will feel so very worth it. These are my tips for surviving, which will eventually lead to thriving because you are awesome, and you are resilient, and you can do this (NO MATTER HOW FRAGILE YOU FEEL AT FIRST.)

I am from Baton Rouge, Louisiana--the second largest city in my home state of Louisiana, but still fairly small when you compare it to the biggest cities in our neighboring state of Texas. It is by no means a small town, but there is this feeling of unity in the city because we all root for the same team (GEAUX TIGERS!), we all love crawfish and snowballs and daiquiris and sweet tea, and we have traditions like Mardi Gras parades and crawfish boils and LSU football and LSU football and LSU football. Where I come from, your surroundings are a part of who you are. Culture is so very important to me, and I can't live in a place and not feel at home. The moment I arrive in a new hometown, I get to work trying to make it feel like home for myself and my family. This process feels much like a treacherous hike up a really steep mountain at first, but it is worth the effort, I promise.

My three little Tigers visiting Mike the Tiger (our hometown football team's live mascot) when we were home for the holidays. 

1. Explore your new city. Drive around. Walk around. Try out the city transportation if there is any. Find fun things to do and places to relax. (TripAdvisor.com is always a great resource for this, and the app is really handy.) In the beginning, frequent these places so that you begin to gain some familiarity in your surroundings. You can even call it "your coffee shop" or "your park", or as in the case of my kids, just go ahead and claim the city's metal flower statue as your own and call it "your flower"... whatever makes you feel at home. ;) Find some delicious places to eat. Do your research and find out what sorts of things people in your new city like to do. If polo is a big attraction, be sure and see a match at least once (that's on my Buenos Aires to-do list.) Get excited about finding the heartbeat of the new place you now call home. I can't imagine someone moving to Baton Rouge and not attending a proper crawfish boil or spending a Saturday night in Tiger Stadium, so I would never consider moving to Buenos Aires without diving into the local culture in every way possible.

Out and about in beautiful Buenos Aires...

 Beautiful street art in Palermo (above) and Martinez (below)

 Colorful buildings are not hard to find. 

 My girls' favorite street art because it is a painting of "our flower" (Floralis Generica)

 Love the green or gold lamp posts all around town

 More fun street art seen on our stroll through Palermo with my Aunt Jan during her January visit 

 Interesting architecture and places of interest 

2. Embrace the local culture. After you've explored your surroundings and learned what makes the people around you tick, find ways to embrace the local culture in your daily life. You don't have to love everything about it or neglect your own lifestyle and habits in the process; just find fun ways to incorporate the new culture here and there. The beauty in any sort of move is learning new things and broadening your horizons. I spent a day with a new friend testing (and tasting!) empanada recipes. We were determined to make at least ONE good empanada. It took about four hours to get it right, but we did it! I challenge you to learn to cook at least one dish from the local cuisine in your new city. Through this simple act of approaching your new surroundings with open arms, you are allowing yourself to be vulnerable and learn something new, and in the process you'll teach your children that adapting to a new place, even a foreign place, is not only possible, but--in fact--very exciting. 

 My sweet Kate drinking mate, which is a very important part of Argentine culture. 

 Making empanadas with new friends 

 The incredible view from my friend's apartment and the backdrop for our empanada making session 

 Shopping our local fruit and vegetable stand

3. Expand your comfort zone. You can't broaden your comfort zone without doing things that are uncomfortable. I know that is really awful news, but it's true. The way to approach this is very, very graciously. Be kind to yourself.  Lower the bar for yourself and be proud when you conquer the basics. You'll look back later and see these were actually HUGE accomplishments, but at the time you'll feel like they're not enough, like you should be doing more. Be kind and gracious to others. Accept that things in your new hometown may not be done the way they were in your old one. Applaud yourself for being bold and opening yourself up to another way of doing life. Don't try and hold on so tightly to what you already know that you miss out on experiencing what's right in front of you. You don't have to forget the old to embrace the new. 

4. Connect to your community. This is so very important. There are so many ways to do this, and I would even suggest choosing more than one. You never know where you'll meet someone who just might be your "lifeline" in your new hometown, and it ALWAYS helps to know someone who is familiar with navigating your new city and can offer tips and suggestions. It doesn't hurt to have a friend to enjoy life with, either. For us, finding a church home is a big means of connecting in our community. Family worship is very important to us, and often times there are small groups you can connect with to make your church feel even more personal and to help you grow spiritually alongside other Christians. Other ways to find community are in your child's school (my children have brought me some of our closest friends), through your workplace (or your spouse's--shoutout to my ExxonMobil friends--LOVE you guys!!!), at the park, at local music venues, etc etc... Community is a basic human need, but it will also greatly enhance your experience abroad (or wherever life takes you.) 

5. Don't forget your roots. While it is a great thing to embark on an exciting adventure and tackle big change, it is very important to both your sanity and to those who love you to stay connected to your support system "back home." The people who have known you your whole life or have been a close friend for some part of your life are some of your biggest cheerleaders (hopefully) and know enough about you to remind you that you're going to make it. I couldn't have survived the early weeks and months of this move (and the time leading up to it) without these Anchors for me. No matter where in the world I am, I can count on my close friends and family members to have my back, and that is a gift I don't take for granted. If you don't feel like you have a support system, don't be afraid to reach out to others. Sometimes people feel like you're caught up with your big move and don't realize the need you have to be remembered. Face time your people. Group text your people. Marco Polo your people. Stay in touch when you can and stay grateful for these wonderful humans who ground you and support your BIG dreams. It's also important for your kids to stay connected to what they know as "home", which is the important people in your life, wherever they may be. For us that is Minnesota, Fort Worth, Houston, Shreveport, Arcadia, Baton Rouge, New Orleans, Tupelo, Tampa... Our heart strings are all over the map, but thanks to technology we don't have to ever feel like we're *that* far away. 

Well, I'm sure there are many more tips to be utilized, but these are MY top 5. I really believe in embracing your new life fully. At first it might be helpful to have some reminders from home (or in the case of an international move--some food items or things you deem "must haves"), but I recommend trying to live like a local as much as possible. It's in doing this that you really experience the whole new world around you and learn just how adaptable you really are. I would be lying if I didn't say this adventure has made me thirst for another. I feel like a crazy person saying that because within the first few months I said it would be my last, but once you stretch and grow and stretch and grow some more you tend to wonder just how stretchy and grow-y you might be. ;)

Please remember that while I'm sitting here typing this out in my furnished and unpacked apartment in the middle of a day that is now ordinary and routine (never thought I would say that!), this was a long time coming. In the beginning I felt like I was pedaling a mile a minute but getting nowhere. This sort of adjustment takes time, no matter the size of your move (whether local or international), and you have to be kind to yourself in the process. Just keep spinning.... Just keep spinning. 

If you have moved frequently and/or internationally, what are your tips for surviving and thriving? I am sure there are so many different ways to achieve the same goal--this is just my take. 

More to come! 

Lindz